What should I be but a prophet and a liar[.]
—Millay1
*
We become our own needs, without tenacity
of tooth to bite through ferocious
memories asleep in peaceful days, we reduce
our howl to that ignored whimper
of limp-wristed princes who, chased by desire, choose
to prowl with proudest of step and
crouching integrity, in the nudity of
their wounds’ darkness, an untruth of
fragrant forests crowding thoughts with a stench of lies
loud enough to rouse the garden
behind the house where life ends, waking a legend
to tell the beauty of our bones
to deny us its warmth, to exhume splinters of
our inhibition’s endless and
splendid crucifixions, to chew hard on the long-
winded and wintered roots of a
half-hearted promise broken by the plow of a
father’s hand into virgin ground,
ripping up fictions, spitting out webs of coughing
dew dropping doubts to petal with
hints of last breath the humid path underneath the
rotted rafters of the lost rose
poisoning us and pointing us toward unrest,
to follow self-imposed laws in
bold pursuit of a soft movement, to trust instead
in the sultry italics of
another climate’s more savage mouths, to revolt
against sunset, reject the gift
of the relentlessly unending present, and
*
kiss until the bluntness of its
knife’s edges rusts our ego’s bruises or blushes
omnipotent a bleeding heart’s
indifference of coincidence, since without
ever accepting nostalgia’s
just a longing for something we have never had,
merely existing instead of
living out loud mythologies intended for
another failed generation’s
generals to war on and ravage, is to trust
in the bent shadow of our Selves,
what shade perverts greater interests in the face
of which our own pale, rising up
and running because heat’s noise can be so much more
frightening than the taste of feigned
venom, a friend’s molestation of moist silence
putting in our mouths coins of time
brazen moments trivialize with martyred bones
mourning with reverent sorrow
the commodification of their marrow, scraped
meat prayerfully witness to and
separate from the shame of being incomplete,
‘I invite you to take your life—’
unannounced guests of cryptic speakers and bitter
thinkers reprise, ‘—and divide it
among your Selves, poor as they all are, starving for
what else but to be acknowledged,’
those neglected parts wandering undetected
under the surface of seeking,
*
flesh appealing to thunder for another form
of torture, to be pleasured by
the world until it bleeds or ends, weeping, sealing
fate in canopic jars to which
we return only if we learn no one has the
key to us but those Selves we shape
from scalding water, pouring pleas
against a cruelty of walled-
up divinities whose truth wounds by wearing out
what health lets us live with, something
resembling sanity, an unwellness of dust
candying deep and trashing sweet
an annihilation of those flavours fiendish
languages take before what holds
us together holds us to blame, shaming those brutes
among us men who leer then jet,
pressing hearts through the window of a stare, shapes of
bodies fitting into the (s)low
p(l)aces of souls as chocolates do, those boxes
compartmentalizing enough
anecdotes of existence until a concept
can be found, until we swallow
the tallow of the taper out of whose light, thrown
into the shadow of which, we
faded and fade and fade again, falling for the
same trick, mages decadent and
degenerate until governed and forgiven,
following full-tilt ’round our mouths
indecision caught between the tongue and the taste.
__________
1Edna St. Vincent Millay, “The Singing-Woman from the Wood’s Edge”, [Stanza 1, Line 1], from her collection A Few Figs from Thistles, in Edna St. Vincent Millay: Poems, published at New York by Everyman’s Library in 2010; page 69.