—First Take—
Blind, ambitious—I am vicious—
the misunderstood-but-championed darling
of the bi-curious/vicarious set,
never wishing-I’d-never-said-
that, aware of my talent and
so uninhibited, without having to
answer to editor or corporation,
my soul’s consciousness flows without
comparison, so here it is,
exchanging hubris for impenetrable
self-assurance, translating defiant self-
reliance and -knowledge into
inimitable confidence,
an unfiltered poem in one go, written
as it has been intended to be read (and
as life is meant to be lived): in
one sitting, no regrets, remorse,
redaction, or revision—these words saying…
—No Fucks Given—
How very often do
I return to my cautery barn, where, moulding
myself, I burn off what
residue remains from lust’s rusting edge, or from
whatever recent ceremony honouring
the cult of my personality I have been
invited to perform—those unsightly red stains—
scalding from my flesh with unrepentant freshness
that stale stench public hands and breath shower me in,
fingering beneath such
filth the pliable clay
which holds together tight
memories of having
willed my Self into existence, retreating there
from their crowded masses,
as I count among my
many blessings that simulacrum of purity
that aids me in my worst,
perverse purchase of some more immortality,
that brain-money I drain,
that mint I get by my work, not from giving good
head, but from my sore head giving good words to hordes
sentenced to service my allure, this perverse verse
for which strangers thirst, never knowing it is them
I skewer, though I aim not to hurt, my pen and
my tongue foregoing the
gutter for the sewer, my mind a fertile field
where bursts ideas blooming
into a beautiful net-worth my readers pipe
in as I flood them with
ideals it will take their
mediocre world centuries to consider
before comprehending
their perfect form, this is
what I call making one’s
own future, the self-made
man no mere entrepreneur, but a well-lived and
self-directed life’s ultimate adventurer,
turning personal torture to fortune, until
the inquisition catches up with me, I will
endure, my perseverance a performance I
spent the obscurity of my youth rehearsing,
a scorned phoenix starting
fires just to be reborn, crackling like crystal from
their bright lights and poison.