For Mark—
And after he had laid his hand on mine
with cheerful countenance, strengthening my resolve,
he led me to the secret things below.
—Dante1
Scent of crushed hazelnut fills up
what compromised cold-chrome vault of my oaken heart’s
inmost part opens wide to yield
nothing, nothing but reality revealing
fruitless this life’s self-despising
endeavour, this prying open of my mortal
shell, my flesh an inviolate
environment cracked apart and penetrated
by a symphony of sweating,
unsympathetic fingers rolling between them
a score of splinters, men playing
with my wor(l)d’s interior after its failure
to appear peach-sweeter before
a court of its bitter observers: fading shades
of buried lovers each wrestling
as hurricane mouths do over flavour, ever
the self-evident truth remains
incomprehensible as a pothole or pore,
as my so-called “peers” go over
my nude flesh with a self-satisfaction only
pseudoscience can sometimes claim
as possibly convincing; finding myself in
the scrutinizing palms of an
apostolic college of pharmacy students,
I am ground to dust, crushed ribs spread
as if Thomas returned, doubting my existence—
or rather sought to witness its
removal from driest wheat fields of my being;
seeding is believing after
all, and his hazel eyes witch mine, falling so far
as globe grapes do, cast down onto
a supermarket floor spellbound, shadowing shame
in place of my own, since I have
none, too fortunate as I am to have been formed
of a bold species by firm hand,
tormented not by any threat such villagers
as these imbeciles whisper of,
as indifferent as I am invincible
to embarrassment and public
opinion—no, but by this examination
of my soul, labs with blood-soaked coats
coaxing me from my doghouse of a hole, red tail
fitting hunters’ dicks like foxglove,
filthy, rapacious hands fearful I might bite them;
so as I am pawed-over, I
poeticize my politics, writing, writhing,
philosophizing as “bad kids”
do, that Christmas will cost us our unicorns, if
only we would just shut up and
let in their silhouette pornographs, sizing up
what loss of love lust has caused us
in seasons of sweet sighs when honey poisons sight,
sweat and tears making taste better
this loss of a waxwork life under hot stage lights.
__________
1Dante Alighieri, The Divine Comedy: Book I: Inferno, “Canto Three”, lines 19–21, translated from the Italian, edited, and introduced by Anthony Esolen, illustrated by Gustave Doré, in Inferno, New York: The Modern Library, 2002; page 23. Written during 1308–1320 and first published as, “Liber I: Canto III [Book I: Canto III]”, lines 19–21, in La Comedìa [in Tuscan Italian; La Commedia in standard Italian; The Comedy]: Inferno [Hell], [Foligno, Italy]: Iohanni Numeister et Elfulginato Euangelista [Johann Numeister and Evangelista Angelini da Trevi], Nel mille quatro cento septe et due nel quatro mese adi cinque [April 11, 1472]; page [11]: “E poi che la sua mano a la mia puose / con lieto volto, ond’ io mi confortai, / mi mise dentro a le segrete cose.” Originally printed: “Et poì che lasua mano alla mia pose / conlieto uolto ondio mi confortai / mi misse dentro allesecrete cose[.]”