From several attempts surmised—
When several became seven—
To love anyone, I realized,
I could not love everyone.
Esther and Tamara reprised
My drowning pored in the Jordan.
Borden Collies born in boredom;
Each I loved, my Self I despised.
Hirsuited in soot and white wan;
A perfect storm worn out disguised
The one, unconventual son,
And, eclipsed what light sanitized.
And, what light lost, lust digitized.
And, what sight cost—this cross, board, and
Film—at once shot and fetishized:
Fame thrown to flame with no refund.
Ancient ways, so stained, somehow thrived,
Dooming (t)him to be among none;
Bitten, eschewed automaton
Quarries left me taking God-sized
Loads—spitting fury came upon
Me; a hail of worries realized.
The version of me I had guised,
I carved without light—shown at dawn—
Let outgrow the niche I incised,
And, swallow me. Shallow pale drawn,
I wished myself well/on thirst thrived.
The Capricorn-boiled transmission
Melted like lies mid-baptism—
Night rate blown on words exorcized.
I tried. My daimon, to outrun,
Reran and we ran, improvised.
We rapped it up, but, were not Donne.
What little package had I prised?
Scandal-spun, what I Hanlon-razed
Was woven between frames and phrased;
Prime time for breaking/excision—
Thus I rent the vault of heaven.