Dear Roger,

You devoured me. You were a child and I was a confection, wrapped in turmoil, and waiting to make the connection. Thank-you for bringing me out of that episode and embracing me. Do you know how handsome you have always been? I remember the candle burning as I wept, asking you to give me communion. How blessed your touch was and how naïve we were in those days. Only now do I know that my illness was coming to the fore, a few years before the world knew. You were mistaken in your decision to remove me from your side, as the pain dealt to me by fate at the same time was nearly enough to send me back entirely whence I came. Why the hell did you do that? I needed you. Why did I seduce you when we reunited?

I was always mesmerized by your height, your sweetness, and how passive you were. I wish you took greater charge and not when you left me needing your voice in my bleeding ear. Why do you depend on your family like you do? When will you make your way in this world? You will own this world if you keep artistically flavouring it. Just get some confidence, darling boy. You have a way of containing yourself that disappoints and poisons and astounds me. Let it out.