The Wonders of San Jonatán

The angels did send to the Spanish town of Arcos de la Frontera on the twentieth day of October in the year of 1500 a child who would grow to become a conquistador of immense strength and virtuous judgment in action called Jonatán by his parents, a noble father and a pious mother. Though seeking not the gold of his peers, he ventured when but twenty years of age in 1520 to New Spain to defend and spread the Faith, which, in a dream, the angels did command him so to do. After two years of indefatigable conquest and evangelization, Jonatán received a calling to profess the abandonment of worldly pursuit which men term hermitage. Wandering the depths of Amazonia for eleven years, he encountered and converted numerous tribes of Indians, until his thirty-third birthday when he came upon Tenatajuma, chief of the Nejaru peoples. Jonatán offered the king a blessed rosary as a token of Faith and Fellowship, but the chief had him thrown into a deep pit wherein various serpents were entangled in what men call a mating ball. These serpents, called anacondas by the men of the tribes, writhed and strangled Jonatán, devouring him whole. The tribesmen wondered at the continued words of the conquistador as he suffered his martyrdom, who uttered his humble prayers even unto death, the vibrations of his speech causing the Indians to tremble and fall upon their knees in conversion as they watched on, writing poetry in their tongue upon tree bark inspired by the execution unfolding before them. Nine months later, the serpent emerged from the river swollen and Jonatán cut his way out of its belly using the sword of conquest he had vowed never to unsheathe. The Nejaru were amazed and overcome by the triumphant return of Jonatán and all knelt before him, even Tenatajuma himself, who had been wearing the rosary when the conquistador approached him to give him a blessing. Jonatán performed one more miracle before disappearing into the darkness of the jungle, not seen again even unto today. His final miracle was to rid a New Spanish orphanage of a snake infestation, becoming as a father to its children and living there for some time among them. It is held among the faithful that the risen conquistador still roams the forest, working to aid the downtrodden and hopeless. Recently canonized by His Holiness Pope Clement V.I.I., Jonatán, the virtuous conquistador, is known as Saint Jonathan of New Spain, and is the patron saint of the fatherless, ophidiophobes, and poets. His feast day is his birthday as well as his martyrdom, October 20th. The centre of his cult is at Brazil. An indulgenced prayer has been approved by His Grace the Archbishop of Canterbury, and is here printed for your use in regular devotion. Blessed be he who believes in the Communion of Saints.

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Hear me, O Father, and bring to me the aid of Saint Jonathan of New Spain. Allow him to protect me from the ills and tribulations of being an orphan, and to offer me the succour of freedom from the fear of all serpents, allowing me to invoke his holy name in the creation of poetry, for as long as I shall live. Everlasting Lord my God. Amen.